13 Best Practical Ways to Making Friends as an Introvert
Photo by Mathilde Langevin on Unsplash
If you’re worried about having no friends in your 20s, 30s, or 40s, know that you might just be an introvert. Introverts naturally prefer less clamorous environments because of how quiet they are. This process translates to having fewer friends.
On the contrary, even if you think you have a hard time making friends, know that there’s hope. You don’t have to give up on the idea of making friends.
You also don’t need to change your personality to find new friends. Knowing how to be better at making friends despite being soft-spoken is quite easy. And trust me, you already have everything you need to start.
If you’re looking for how to be a friend, this is a guide to making friends and keeping them. Continue reading to discover how to befriend someone, even as an introvert.
13 Tips for Making Friends as Introverts
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
You don’t necessarily need ‘new people’.
If you think making friends as an introvert involves going out of your comfort zone, then you may never enjoy the process. Friendship for introverts should always be purpose-driven before anything else. If there’s no real value in the association, it would soon become a burden.
Therefore, the first step an introvert making friends needs to understand is how to find value in their associations. If you want to have friends merely for the sake of it, you would always need new friends. On the contrary, finding out why you need an ally helps you attach value to the association.
The definition of a friend is someone you know well, and regard with affection and trust. If there’s no one already in your life serving the purpose of a friend from afar, then adding new people to the list might be futile. The most suitable friends for introverts are individuals they already know and value. It could be a coworker, family member, or even a random person that compliments you.
2. Analyze why you need friends.
Another crucial factor for introverts making friends is to analyze the specific need behind their desire to make new friends. This step will serve as an introverts’ guide in identifying who to pick as a friend. Although introverts are surrounded by people serving multiple purposes in their lives, knowing the area they need company in can help them make the best decision.
For example, if you want an ally with whom you can discuss your personal introverted challenges, then your extroverted uncle might not be the best choice. More so, if you need someone you can confide in and tell your secrets, then a random stranger you met yesterday might not be the best option.
Introvert friendships need to be as profoundly beneficial as they can be. Therefore, considering why you need someone in your life will prevent your relationships from being superficial. More so, you’ll be one step closer to finding the most suitable friend.
3. Take a step.
It’s a common misconception that introverts don’t make friends, or can’t make friends. On the contrary, what stops us from taking a step is the fear of the unknown. What if the person rejects me? What if they turn out to be bad for me? What if I say the wrong thing? These worries are valid, but it prevents many introverts from building profitable relationships.
I’ve learned that being courageous, even for the slightest moment, is how introverts make friends (and it has worked for me!). You don’t have to go all out - you simply have to start somewhere. Identify the people that could be the best acquaintances in your life and reach out to them.
Start within your comfort zone by saying or sending a mere “hello!” Give them compliments, invite them for coffee, ask about their day, and simply keep the ball rolling afterward.
4. Don’t seek to please.
While it’s crucial to make the first move if you want to fetch friends, it’s more essential to be your authentic self. As introverts, we tend to worry about not being liked. This mindset often makes us become people-pleasers. From personal experience, I might refrain from stating my likes and dislikes to gratify the other person.
However, having deep friends means you have to be true to yourself. If you’re not comfortable doing something, speaking up about it doesn’t make you a bad person. For example, you don’t have to go to a party if you’re not comfortable with the idea. Respectfully declining your new friend’s request doesn’t jeopardize the friendship, but adds to its authenticity.
For parents, this might be the key to helping your introverted teenager make friends. They should never be under pressure to pacify a relationship. On the contrary, they should know that true friendships are built on genuineness.
Related: Am I Too Quiet? P.S. No, You’re Not. A How-To Guide to Using Your Introversion to Your Advantage
5. Ask questions instead of constantly answering.
In the usual extrovert-introvert relationships (where the extrovert adopts the introvert), the introvert tends to follow through with most of the extrovert’s preferences. This behavior can make the relationship seem one-sided. However, even though every group of friends has chatty friends, you can make your friendship circle different.
You shouldn’t always allow your acquaintance to take the lead. Sometimes, try to stir conversations in the area of your interest. If you want to find out about something, ask about it. You can start by making inquiries about the person’s day. Next, you can move on to deeper subjects like their hobbies, interests, dreams, and desires. This act enables you to build deeper and more meaningful connections with the people you like.
When introverts meet new people, they often don’t want to direct the conversation to themselves. However, doing the opposite would help you feel more comfortable communicating with another person.
6. Pay attention to your feelings.
The desire to find a friend to talk to can often make introverts neglect their feelings in the process. We as introverts might find it difficult to see how unsatisfying a friendship is merely for the immediate gratification it provides. However, this behavior can quickly make a relationship get toxic faster than we expect.
If your acquaintance fulfills a specific purpose in your life, but you don’t feel good after interacting with them, it’s important to analyze the association carefully. For example, ask yourself if your friend exhausts you to the extent you can’t function properly. Do you feel comfortable around them or do you have to pretend to be someone else?
More so, does your friend regard you and your personality while interacting with you? Even though you might benefit from such an association, it’s more essential to find like-minded friends. The benefit of finding your people is that you don’t have to give up your personal happiness to be with them.
7. Rate their interest level.
Before you get too close to anyone and officially call them your friend, you have to determine if they’re interested in the association as much as you are. From personal experience, people tend to get close to me merely because of how introverted I am. My personality can be somewhat mysterious and people are naturally curious about my personal life.
However, most of them don’t necessarily want to be friends with me. They are burning with curiosity and that isn’t a valid reason to become friends with them either. They have to like and value any potential association before things can work.
There are various other reasons why a person might not genuinely be interested in building a friendship with you. Spotting such signs is crucial to filtering the association. If you’re feeling, “My friend doesn’t make time for me,” or “My friends make plans without me,” you should know that such people aren’t the best associates for you.
8. Your discomfort will be temporary.
We all know how awkward it is to talk to someone for the first time. You might go home feeling like you flopped the entire process. This experience also occurs when building a new friendship. You would feel uncomfortable at the early stages, but it gets better with time. As long as you feel good being around that person, you’ll eventually get accustomed to their presence.
Your insecurities might set in while learning how to approach someone you want to be friends with. However, never let that doubt prevent you from pursuing an association that would truly be profitable. This step is a crucial guide to making friends that actually get you. In the long run, you’ll appreciate the effort you put in.
Taking more convenient steps while getting to know a new friend is also essential. You can decide to text them rather than call, or write a mail rather than meet them in person. This process can help curtail the awkward feeling that accompanies the friendship-building process.
9. Create a schedule.
Understand that you don’t necessarily need to be spontaneous to get a friend. Being your authentic self is more rewarding than anything else. Since a sense of predictability helps introverts manage their energy, it’s crucial to create a schedule with your new friend. Think of sustainable ways to build your association with them.
For example, you can decide to meet at a coffee shop once a week, or set a time to catch up on each other’s lives. Creating hobbies to meet friends will indeed be a worthwhile task for introverts. It’ll save you time and ensure your association doesn’t fall apart. More so, you don’t have to be under pressure to think of new ways to pacify your new friendship.
Your new ally will also appreciate the effort, which will strengthen the connection between both of you. Your commitment to the association will likewise make them more eager to engage in these activities with you.
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10. Choose quality over quantity.
A major lesson on how to be friends with someone is to focus more on quality than quantity. If you want to benefit from the process of building friendships the introvert way, try to get a friend that truly understands you, and avoid being more interested in learning how to get more friends. Know that having full friendships is better than having countless superficial ones.
This process helps you to avoid experiencing burnout sooner than you expect. If you have too many people that aren’t meeting your needs, you might end up resenting their presence. Therefore, try not to focus on how to be friends with anyone, but how to become closer friends with someone you genuinely value.
Many people might think keeping a small circle means you lack social skills. On the contrary, understanding that you’re not everyone keeps the negative comments away. They might feel comfortable building causal associations, but you’re more detail-oriented than that. It’s highly crucial to separate your temperaments from those around you.
11. Try new hobbies.
Getting new hobbies is a great place to start if you’re wondering how to find a friend group in a new city. You don’t have to do too much or exit your comfort zone. On the contrary, it’s essential to start small by doing little things that interests you. This process will help you connect with others.
Some hobbies to meet people include stargazing, bird watching, or signing up for a dance class. You can also attract profitable attention from like-minded individuals by volunteering or offering charitable support at events. Learning how to approach people as an introvert is good, but you can engage in the right activities and the right people will come.
If you’re thinking, “How can I find friends near me,” this is probably the best option. If you’re not necessarily the outdoorsy type, creating or joining an online community in an area of your interest can help you connect with people.
12. Be inquisitive.
If your major aim is to learn how to be friendly with everyone, then general inquisition can help you. You can try to be more involved with the activities happening around you - either in your workplace, school, or home. Asking people how their day went, or inquiring about their hobbies or interests can help you connect with them.
In general, your inquisition can attract people to you. You don’t necessarily need to take it to the top. The best part about this step is that you can choose the people you want to talk to. If you know you’re somewhat similar to someone, building a common ground by asking questions is a great placr to start.
Being curious is also how to become friends with a guy you like. If you show interest in your crush’s life, despite being introverted, they’ll inevitably want to build a bond with you. This association can blossom into something unique as long as you prioritize knowing them more.
13. Be patient.
All great relationships take time to build. If you want your effort to be worthwhile, you have to be patient with the process. Don’t try to rush anything or take drastic steps too soon. It’s essential to understand the dimension of every association you build before you take things further.
Learn about your friend’s strengths, interests, hobbies, likes, and dislikes. These areas will ensure both of you build a substantial association. More so, there’ll be fewer disagreements and the relationship will blossom. On the contrary, rushing into things can limit the friendship’s potential.
It’s also crucial to embrace your personality and understand why you have to be thoughtful about your associations. Never be under pressure to live up to the extroverts’ way of building friendships. Else, you might enter into a cycle of making and ultimately losing the friendships you build. Therefore, always play to your strengths.
FAQs
How do introverts make friends?
Introverts are intentional about the friends they choose. They tend to look for people that understand them, rather than having countless friends. Introverts need to find similarities between themselves and their potential friends, and making a move by being inquisitive can help their associations blossom better.
Where to make friends as an introvert?
If you’re wondering how to build a friend group as an introvert, then exploring new hobbies that interest you might be a great option. This process coils involve visiting new places or leaving your neighborhood in the meantime. Go to a book reading club, go birdwatching, or even sign up for a dance or cooking class.
Where to meet other introverts?
The best place to meet introverts is in a community or group created for introverts. You can attend one physically or research for an online forum to join. There’s a high chance you’ll meet a like-minded individual.
How to make friends if you are an introvert?
You don’t need to change your personality to make friends as an introvert. You need to be conscious about investing in the associations around you. If you see someone that could potentially be a friend, try to establish a common ground with them. Find out their likes and dislikes, but don’t forget to be your authentic self.
How to meet people as an introvert?
You can meet people while engaging in your hobbies or by joining online communities. Ensure you’re comfortable throughout the process so that you can be your genuine self. Otherwise, the process would be futile and you might struggle to make a real connection.
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CONCLUSION
Did you enjoy this article? Remember not to force an association if the other party’s isn’t interested in building worthwhile with you. It’s better to have no friends than have people who don’t genuinely support you. Kindly leave a comment below if you liked this article, or simply share it with others.
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