I Have No Friends: 11 Ways I Make My Life Totally Awesome
Photo by Đào Việt Hoàng on Unsplash
I’m an introvert.
I have few social engagements, but that doesn’t make my life bleak. Ironically, it’s as exciting as any outgoing person’s life.
There’s a pretty bad stereotype that you have to engage in outdoor activities before you can have fun. But, doing several little activities can also bring about the same level of dopamine release.
So, it’s not about having many friends. I have no friends, and I like it. I can be my true self and embrace my personality.
I have no friends because I’m an introvert who enjoys spending time indoors and relishing my quiet time. I’m also intentional about the friendships I keep and can be pretty intense about them. That's why I can't have as many friends as I’d naturally like.
There are other reasons why people don’t have many friends.
If you’re thinking, “I feel like I don't have friends!” you might fit into a category below.
You’re an extreme introvert. Extreme introverts are intensively reserved, which means they have more introverted traits than others. If you’re one, you’ll naturally lean toward the ‘no friends’ lifestyle, which is normal, and not a disorder.
You’re shy. There’s a difference between shyness and introversion. Shyness is a feeling of discomfort caused by being in front of others or near strangers. If you’re shy, it will be hard to make new friends.
You have a busy life. Trying to balance work, school, and maybe even a career, isn’t as easy as it sounds. If your life is pretty hectic, you won’t have time for friends.
Your friendships are casual. Many extroverts might confess that they have no friends either. This might be because their friendships are surface level, not allowing them to adequately bond with the people they meet.
You have social anxiety. Social anxiety disorder is an intense fear that comes with being in social situations. If you have this disorder, you wouldn’t be in social settings enough to make friends.
You’re doing too much. Some people try too hard when it comes to making friends. Things like being too needy and pushing yourself on others will make people less eager to talk and associate with you.
You’re not meeting ‘your people’. If you’re not bonding with people, you might have specific interests that may not correlate with them. Finding people that ‘get’ you is necessary.
Related: 13 Best Practical Ways to Making Friends as an Introvert
Your life is secluded. If you rarely leave your house or are barely ever in social situations, it will prevent you from bonding with people as you wish.
You’re not trying enough. Creating long-lasting friendships with people takes extra effort. If you never check up on your friends or try to insert yourself into their lives, there won’t be a friendship.
11 Ways to make your life exciting when you realize You Have No Friends.
Be kind to yourself.
Self-love is a must! You have to be your best friend and number one fan. If you don’t do this, you will always be needy in your associations.
The first thing you need to realize is that having no friends is not a bad thing. If you’ve identified the reason why you don’t have friends, self-reflect and see where you can make changes (if necessary).
However, what’s more vital is loving yourself. This factor alone would make your world all the more colorful. If you feel like the most important person in your life right now, you’ll enjoy your company more than you know.
You’ll easily be able to say, “I have 0 friends, but I love my life!” It’s a superpower no one can ever take from you. More so, it’ll help you attract the right people in the long run who will also enjoy spending time with you.
2. Reflect Internally.
Constantly thinking, “I don’t have any friend!” can be a subtle sign of loneliness or depression. You need to process your feelings internally to determine whether having friends is the problem, or whether you’re simply sad and always feeling alone.
This step will help you know what to do next. If you feel you need to talk to a licensed counselor about it, you should. This is necessary to get your life back on track.
I often separate the feeling of why I don't have friends from other feelings, so I can access my happy emotions. Anytime I discover that something else is sponsoring my unpleasant thoughts, I focus on getting to the root of my unhappiness. This process makes me feel at ease with myself once again.
3. Plan your future.
There’s nothing more exciting than having something to look forward to. If you’re saying, “I have no friends anymore,” planning your future can be the best distraction. It will keep you optimistic and eager for the next day.
Make a variety of short-term and long-term goals. Think about what you aim to accomplish before the week runs out. Do you want to finish reading a good book? Clear out your shed? Rearrange your bedroom?
You should also write down your long-term goals and break them down into short-term activities that would amount to much in the future.
Even so, think of activities to put on your to-do list. They could be leisure activities or things that have always been on your bucket list.
These are little impactful ways to make your life more exciting when you have no friends and you feel lonely.
4. Get a hobby.
I rarely ask myself why I don't have any friends because I’m always busy with one activity I love or the other. For example, I enjoy writing and find a sense of fulfillment each time I think of the next article to create.
I also love baking, watching movies, and brainstorming during solitude. When I’m in this mode, I’m never bothered about external problems. It’s always about my present satisfaction at that moment.
This is what to do if you have no friends.
Find out what you love doing and keep at it. Make your personal space all the more comfortable so that you wouldn’t need other people to make it exciting for you.
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5. Treat yourself to things.
Do you know why I love baking so much? So that I can always treat myself to the sweet things I crave? It’s a viable way to make myself happy when I feel like I have no friends.
You should do this too. You deserve all the lovely things that you think of. You don’t have to wait for another person to do these things for you. You should start wherever you are and with whatever you can.
Take a bubble bath, go on a self-date, wear the best of your clothes, visit a fancy restaurant, take a solo vacation, and simply live like you’re the most important person you know.
Even when I have no more friends to talk to, I always find a way to make my time alone worthwhile. These are activities I can’t forget in a hurry.
6. Tell yourself you’re amazing.
Positive self-talk is a vital asset when you have no friend to talk to. You should spend at least one minute every day putting this act to practice. When you’re in front of a mirror or leaving for work in the morning, remind yourself of all your perks.
Oftentimes, people who have a history of people talking down on them might find this act difficult to imbibe. They’d find it challenging to see themselves in a positive light.
Nevertheless, the first thing to remember is that you’re not what others say you are. You’re the lead character in your story so you have the major say.
You should also consider seeking a counselor to help you trace the root of any negative perception of yourself.
Telling yourself how amazing you are should never be a challenge. You’ve survived every challenge life has given you, and your unique quirks make you even more special.
Related: Am I Too Quiet? P.S. No, You’re Not. A How-To Guide to Using Your Introversion to Your Advantage
7. Start journaling.
If you have no friends. Learning how to communicate better with yourself will fill that void. One way to accomplish this is by journaling.
You can choose to write down your feeling each day in a diary format, or leave simple messages for your future self. You’ll be amazed at your entries when you read them later.
Using a gratitude journal is also a great way to ignite positive feelings. Journals with appreciative prompts will help you live life feeling thankful even if you don't have friends.
I recommend my introvert journal with beautiful designs for quiet people. You can also browse other ones which double as planners. This planner has amazing prompts for introverts, reminding them why they’re awesome. Even so, it’ll help you organize your life and bring your plans to reality.
8. Go outside.
Being inside all the time comes with its ups and downs. You’ll enjoy peace, but you’re surrounded by static objects which can make your life feel unadventurous. If you’re constantly worrying and saying to yourself, “I have no friends anymore,” you may need to go outdoors.
Take a nature walk, visit your favorite park, exercise, etc. These activities will boost your adrenaline release. More so, the unpredictability of the environment will take your mind off bothersome subjects.
Personally, I love balconies. When I’m not pumped to go outside, I sit there and get a similar outdoorsy feel. I watch passers-by, moving cars, the wind pushing against the trees, and several other unprecedented sceneries.
This naturally offloads my mind, and that’s why I barely feel lonely with no friends.
9. Help others.
Putting a smile on someone’s face will take your mind off your worries., trust me. You’ll be surprised that there are thousands of people eager for you to show kindness to them.
I don't have many friends, but I can boast of being a kind person. This naturally outlives the former. It doesn’t matter how many people I know but how many I can genuinely impact.
You can start by helping anyone you know with a minor issue they‘re going through. Give a colleague a birthday present, and randomly check up on someone that might be having a hard time.
Being detailed and intentional with people will certainly keep you excited. You’ll be happy just knowing you’re touching someone’s life. More so, you won’t keep thinking, “I don't have any friends anymore.”
10. Spend time with family.
No friends? That’s not a problem. The reason why I don’t worry about having friends is because my family members are my friends. They love and support me and I can easily talk to them when I feel like I have no friends.
If you feel the same way, you should prioritize bonding with your family. This way, you don’t have to worry about meeting new people before a friendship blossoms.
Family members can be your closest acquaintances in many ways. Majorly, because you have similar experiences and can bond over past memories. You can also try to create new memories and build new bonds with them.
Peradventure you can’t achieve this with your family, the last step is a keeper.
11. Get a pet.
Having a pet is a great idea when you have no friends. Although they can’t outright replace humans, they’ll fill the void of having no one to talk to.
Pets also provide a good training ground for bonding activities and help people become more compassionate and loving towards others. Pets also love unconditionally, which can make you feel seen and heard like you want to with friends.
So even if you have no friends, your trusted pet can give you the company you need.
How to Make New Friends (If You Want To)
My life is exciting without friends because I use the above-listed ways. However, I’m certain some people still have a strong desire to deal with their no-friendship state. If you fit into this category, here’s how to go about it.
Start a conversation. You’ll never know how easy it is to make a connection until you start a conversation yourself. The first day I did this, I felt less pressure of wanting others to talk to me. So, if you want to fix your no-friends situation, join a club, introduce yourself, interact with people, and ask open-ended questions wherever you are. You won’t have to worry that, “I don't have friends!” because you’ll always have at least one person to talk to.
Be open-minded about social events. Do I have friends? No, because I tend to turn down a large portion of social invitations. However, I’ve learned that being open-minded about a few helped me meet treasurable people in my life. Take a bold step outside your comfort zone to meet people, and if you still feel uncomfortable, go with someone you can trust.
Think positive things when interacting. People with no friends tend to be too hard on themselves. I used to always make negative conclusions about my friendship status, and think there was something wrong with me. However, changing my perception of myself has naturally attracted great people to my life without even trying. You’re not the problem, and you’ll never be. You’re more amazing than you realize.
Give people compliments. Forming friendships doesn’t have to be tedious. More so, you don’t have to commit to each process like you’re desperate for any friend. If you see something you like about someone, you can just mention it to them. This shows you’re not trying too hard to fix your lack of friendship. It’ll also make you a free-spirited person that everyone will naturally love to have around.
Bond with people over interests. Having friends is one thing while having people who understand and value your opinions is more vital. The best way to accomplish this is by bonding over your interests. Don’t let others always take the lead in conversations without sharing some of your thoughts. It’ll be hard to know those you truly connect with if you don’t talk about the things you love.
Try online friendships. The internet has made it easier to connect with people. If you don’t have friends in the real world, you can find several in the virtual space. Although this doesn’t replace physical contact, it’s a great substitute for those that aren’t in favorable conditions to make friends where they are. It’ll eliminate the immediate complaint of, “I have zero friends.”
Volunteer for something. If you’re wondering how to get a social life with no friends, you need to work towards making an impact in your community. Even if I say I don't have friends anymore, volunteering has helped me come in contact with a lot of great individuals. More so, I feel great contributing to a cause and putting smiles on people’s faces.
Make the first move. You can never really say, “I have no friends,” if you’ve never made a move to connect with someone. After trying the above-listed steps, don’t always wait for the other person to take things further. Ask for their contact details, social media handles, or even better, schedule another meeting where you can spend quality time and build a friendship.
Showcase your true self. Sometimes, the lack of friendships is a result of trying too hard to please others. You don’t have to behave a certain way or say certain things to attract friends. Being your authentic self is more crucial than anything else. You’ll create lifetime bonds, and meet people who will truly value and love every side of you by sticking to your originality.
Catch up with people. You can’t say, “I don't have friends!” if you don’t make effort to connect with people. We unconsciously bond with people as time goes on, no matter how little. Anyone interested in building longtime friendships needs to make an effort to catch up and build connections with the people they meet.
FAQs
Why do I feel like I have no friends?
If you realize that you don’t have anyone you can connect with deeply, then you’d feel like you have no friends. There are several reasons why this happens. Asking yourself, “Why do I have no friends?” will help get answers.
Is it normal to have no friends?
Personally, I don't have any friends and I’m okay with it. It allows me to focus on those who truly matter to me. It’s normal not to have many friends if you’re quiet, reserved, extremely introverted, or even shy.
What does it mean if you have no friends?
I’m extremely introverted and that’s why I have no friends. It means I’m super quiet and I tend to be indoors most of the time. There are other reasons why people don’t have friends. Finding out the reason for your lack of friendships will help you get to the bottom of things.
Why do I have no friends at all?
If you’re asking yourself, “Why do I not have friends?” you need to observe the circumstances you’re in. It might be hard to make friends if you have a busy schedule, a demanding job, or social anxiety that prevents you from connecting with people.
What to do if I have no friends?
If you realize you don’t have friends, you have to first get comfortable with the idea of being alone. However, if you want to make friends and keep them, read some of the useful tips in this article.
Related: How to be Happy Alone: 21 Steps to Enjoy a Quiet Life
Final Thoughts
It’s not a taboo if you don’t have friends. Be your best friend, and if you want friends, try the few steps above. However, don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself. After all, you can be happy all by yourself. Kindly leave a comment or share this article if you liked it.
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