10 Clear Indicators That Someone is Actually Being Real With You
Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash
We’ve all been there—questioning whether someone is being real with us or not.
When it comes to friendships, it’s necessary to know which ones are genuine and which ones aren’t.
For an introvert contemplating whether to increase their friend list with one more person, it’s crucial to know a real person. More so, to any other individual with a handful of friends around them, knowing who you can really trust is important.
That's why understanding the signs that someone is being real with you is critical.
Genuine connections go beyond the surface of having conversations. You can avoid the unnecessary emotional turbulence that comes with one-sided friendships or parasitic associations when you know someone who’s being real.
But what does being real mean anyways?
Being real is the ability to be your authentic self around someone without pretending. When someone is real with you, they won’t have hidden motives but will value and invest in the friendship they share with you.
In this article, we’ll delve into the top ten signs that a person is being real. These signs are easy to spot and will help you to make the right decisions when it comes to friendships and relationships. Let’s dive in.
10 Ways to Know Someone Is Actually Being Real With You
Look Me in the Eyes
It’s a popular notion that the eyes are the window to a person’s soul.
This is evidently true. When you look into a person’s eye, you can see their emotions—what they’re feeling, how they feel about you, and more so, what they might be hiding.
This is why genuine eye contact is one of the easiest ways to know when someone is being real with you.
When someone maintains eye contact, it expresses their desire to be closer on a deeper level. You can detect a person’s warmth, interest, and empathy merely by the way they look at you.
If you ever look into someone’s eyes and can’t feel connected to them in any way, it can be a red flag. Remember, there should be a genuine connection and a feeling of openness when you make eye contact with someone because eye contact is a universal language.
2. Listen Up.
Let’s be real - we all want to feel heard and seen.
Active listening goes beyond just listening to what a person has to say. It involves being present in the moment, showing interest, and acknowledging the other person’s attempt to connect and communicate.
When you can’t get this in a friendship, you should question how invested that person is in the association. This is one of the signs that someone isn’t being real with you.
Think about sharing something exciting with someone. They should be able to listen, observe, and acknowledge the situation by mirroring your excitement. Someone who isn’t being real wouldn’t be able to show these signs.
While some people are naturally active listeners, each conversation you bring up with someone who’s being real should be an avenue to deepen their relationship with you.
3. Body Talk.
Reading body language isn’t as hard as it seems. It’s an innate skill that comes with every human. It’s also one of the best ways to know when someone is being real with you. Always remember that whatever the mind thinks, the body does.
So when someone is genuine with you, chances are, they’ll be more relaxed and open to you. Their composure will also be warm and welcoming, and according to research, are more likely to always face you directly.
On the contrary, people who seem closed-off may not be as genuine as you think. It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like you, but that the closeness isn’t just there.
More so, when a person’s body language seems forced, it’s a red flag. For example, when something is genuinely hilarious, a person’s laughter would trigger the entire body to react. However, there won’t be coherence in these simple non-verbal cues for someone who’s faking it.
4. Walk the Talk.
Actions speak louder than words, they say. And that’s why consistency in words and actions would always be apparent in genuine relationships.
When you have an authentic friend, they’ll do everything in their power to live up to their words. But when you start noticing inconsistencies, it should raise your alarm bells.
For example, if you’re an introvert, and you have a new friend who says that they respect your boundaries, but they go all the way to take you out of your comfort zone, you should be cautious.
Anyone who’s genuinely interested in your well-being wouldn't do anything to make you uncomfortable. More so, they’ll always ensure that their actions match their words.
A good rule of thumb is that if a person’s words mismatch their actions more than three times, they aren’t being real with you.
5. Be Real, Be Free!
True emotions are raw and unfiltered. When someone expresses how they feel in an open and honest way, then they’re being real with you. You’d be able to sense that they care about your growth and the progress of the relationship, and this is called emotional transparency.
However, when someone is always telling you what you want to hear, then beware. There’s no perfect friendship or relationship because no one is perfect. So if honesty isn’t the pillar of your association, it isn’t genuine.
It’s also important to imbibe these principles if you want to enjoy emotional transparency in your relationships. For example, you should always strive to use the best conversation starters, most especially open-ended questions. This gives the impression that you’re not closed off and it promotes emotional honesty in your interactions.
6. Oops, My Bad!
A real person owns up to their mistakes. This takes courage and humility and is one of the signs of a genuine character. When someone can’t acknowledge their wrongdoings, then they’re not being real with even themselves.
The best person to tell yourself the truth is you. So, if a person has a hard time recognizing their errors, then there’s something wrong with the facet of their character. Even so, it’ll affect how genuine they can be with you.
Real people aren’t afraid to say, “I’m sorry,” because they understand that you’re more important to them than their mistakes. And hey, if someone can’t own up to their mistakes, there’s a likelihood it’ll keep on repeating, which is something you should try to avoid.
7. Empathy Matters.
A compassionate friend who gives you a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on is more real than someone who tells you, “Get it together!” This is because no one has it all figured out. It’s quite deceptive if you have someone who always wants you to always be at your best.
Empathy is an emotion that can’t be faked or forced. When someone really cares about you, it shows. Their choice of words, their actions, and most especially, their support when you’re vulnerable, says a lot about who they are.
Ironically, most people judge realness by how indifferent a person is to vulnerability. But every genuine connection is built on empathy. A real person should rather tell you they don’t care about you than pretend you’re not in pain, or simply wait for you to ‘get over it’.
8. I Care About You.
When someone is being real with you, they’ll worry about your well-being. Real people invest in the happiness and success of those they have a friendship with. If someone regularly asks you, “Are you feeling okay?” then it’s a sign that their emotions are real and sincere.
For example, as an introvert whose social battery might deplete rather quickly, it’s important to have someone who’s concerned about these things. Someone who’s trying to get into your social circle should bother to check up on you especially if they invite you to an occasion you had no prior interest in.
Remember, a real friend strives for mutual happiness, and shouldn’t get angry if you don’t bend to their wishes.
9. Personal Space, Please!
Boundaries and respect are a two-way street. It’s even more important in any real relationship or friendship. When someone respects your limits, it's one of the best ways to know they’re being real with you.
I once knew someone who claimed to be a real friend, try to read the content of my journal at all costs, even when I repeatedly mentioned that it was private. Can you believe that this was the end of our friendship? It clearly wasn’t real.
Genuine people always respect boundaries without hesitating. If someone is encroaching your personal space repeatedly, they shouldn’t be friends with you.
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10. Time and Effort.
The truest investment in any relationship is time and effort. This action subtly says, “I’m here for you and I’m willing to make this work.” Remember that all meaningful connections require effort; and in the absence of this, it’s not real.
Mutual effort is the best way to test the genuineness of your association. It’ll show through shared experiences, laughter, and tears. When someone is there during both the good and bad times, it’s the realest your friendship can get.
If you have someone like this, hold on to them. Most importantly, prioritize quality over quantity. If you have just one real person in your life, it’s much better than a thousand surface-level associations. In that case, keep the effort mutual. Catch up with them, express your gratitude, and try your best to grow together.
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A Warm Conclusion
We’ve shared the ten easiest ways to spot a real person, and some of them include their body language, ability to apologize, and their level of empathy. You should use these to weed out fake people and build authentic relationships. Remember, you can only enjoy the joy of genuine connections when you have the right people in your life. Kindly leave a comment below if you enjoyed reading this article or share it with anyone who needs to see it.
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