How Can I Stop Myself From Crying: Fast Techniques To Calm Down
Photo by Freddie Addery on Unsplash
We’ve all been there (even me recently)! You start crying because something happened (or even in rare cases, nothing happened), and now you can't stop crying.
If that’s you reading this, the first thing you need to do is to breathe!
Take a deep breath, grab a glass of cold water, gulp it, and try to read this article to the end. I’ll be your trusted friend for the next five minutes, helping you feel a little calmer and lighter. By the end of this article, you’ll have the best therapy for crying and can easily navigate out of any future crying spell.
But first, know that crying is absolutely normal. You’re not crazy or broken. Your life isn’t over either, and you are not weak. Your body loves you, and that’s why it’s trying to regulate your emotions.
Now that you’re a bit calmer, let’s look at the reasons why we often start crying and can't stop crying.
Why We Start Crying and Often Can’t Stop Crying
1. Your nervous system gets overloaded
When something hits you hard, sadness, stress, frustration, even relief, your nervous system shifts into high alert. The emotional center of your brain, the amygdala, signals that something big is happening. Tears are one way your body releases that buildup.
Once the crying starts, your body is already in that activated state, so it can take time to settle back down.
2. Crying releases stress chemicals
Emotional tears are different from onion tears (from literally cutting onions, lol). Emotional tears contain stress hormones like cortisol. Crying is your body’s way of detoxing intense emotion. That is why after a good cry, you sometimes feel lighter. But while it is happening, your body is still flushing everything out, which can keep the tears flowing.
3. One feeling unlocks ten others
Sometimes you are not just crying about one thing. You might think you are crying about a small argument, but underneath that could be exhaustion, loneliness, disappointment, old memories, and unmet needs. Once the door opens, all the stored feelings come out together.
4. Crying triggers more crying
When you cry, your breathing changes. It becomes shaky and irregular. That breathing pattern actually signals to your brain that something is still wrong, which keeps the emotional loop going. That is why slow, deep breathing can help shorten a crying spell.
5. You finally feel safe enough to feel
Many of us hold everything in all day. When you are finally alone or with someone safe, your body relaxes just enough to release what it has been holding. The crying feels uncontrollable, but it is actually your system saying, “Okay. Now we can let this out.”
How to Stop Yourself from Crying (the fast way)
1. Start with your breathing.
The moment you feel that tightness in your throat or that burn behind your eyes, go straight to your breath. Crying and shaky breathing are connected. Once your breath becomes uneven, your brain reads that as distress and keeps the tears coming.
So instead of trying to “not cry,” focus on inhaling through your nose slowly for four seconds. Hold it for four. Then exhale through your mouth for six to eight seconds. Make the exhale longer than the inhale.
That longer exhale is what tells your nervous system to calm down. If you can, place a hand on your stomach and try to move it more than your chest. It gives your body something steady to follow.
2. Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
This sounds small, but it works surprisingly well. Gently but firmly press your tongue against the roof of your mouth and keep it there while breathing slowly.
It interrupts the muscle pattern that supports sobbing. It also shifts your focus to something physical instead of emotional. When emotions are flooding you, even a tiny physical anchor can help you regain control.
3. Adjust your posture on purpose.
When you are about to cry, your body collapses inward. Shoulders drop. Chin tucks down. Your chest tightens. That posture reinforces the emotional state.
Instead, sit or stand up straight. Roll your shoulders back slightly. Lift your chin just a little. Relax your jaw.
It may feel forced at first, but posture sends feedback to your brain. When your body signals strength and openness, your emotional intensity often lowers just enough for you to steady yourself.
4. Look up and soften your eyes.
When tears are building, people instinctively squeeze their eyes shut or look down. That pressure makes the tears spill faster.
Instead, gently tilt your head upward and widen your eyes slightly. Blink slowly instead of squeezing. Looking up can actually help stop tears from falling. It is subtle, but especially in public, it can buy you a few crucial seconds to regain control.
5. Give your brain a job.
When emotion floods you, your logical brain goes quiet. So you need to wake it up. Start counting backwards from 100 by sevens. Or name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear.
Spell a long word backwards. Recite song lyrics. Literally, just do any mental action.
It might feel unrelated, but it activates the part of your brain responsible for reasoning. When that part comes online, the emotional intensity from the deeper brain regions naturally decreases.
But remember that you are not ignoring your feelings. You are stabilizing yourself.
6. Use cold to reset yourself.
Temperature can shift your nervous system quickly. If you can, hold something cold. Press a cold bottle to the back of your neck. Run cool water over your wrists. Even placing something chilled against your cheek can help.
Cold stimulation activates calming pathways in your body and can interrupt that rising wave of tears. It’s almost like pressing a reset button.
7. Swallow slowly and intentionally.
Crying and swallowing involve overlapping throat muscles. When your voice starts shaking, take a slow sip of water and swallow deliberately. Even without water, try swallowing a few times in a calm, controlled way.
It stabilizes your throat and can interrupt the reflex that turns emotion into sobbing.
8. Ground yourself through your feet.
Press your feet firmly into the floor. Really feel the pressure. Notice your toes inside your shoes or shift your weight slightly from heel to toe.
This pulls your awareness out of your chest and throat, where crying builds, and down into your body. It is a small grounding trick, but it can make a big difference in the moment.
9. Give yourself a calm internal instruction.
Instead of angrily telling yourself “do not cry,” try something gentler and more directive. Say in your mind, “I can cry later.” Or “Not right now.” Or “I am safe.” Or “I am in control.”
Your brain responds better to reassurance than to force. When you give yourself permission to feel it later, you often reduce the urgency of feeling it now.
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How to stop crying (long-term techniques)
1. Schedule your emotions instead of suppressing them.
If you keep holding everything in all day, your body will eventually force a release. That is often when the uncontrollable crying happens. Instead, create a small daily emotional check in. Ten to fifteen minutes, alone, no phone, ask yourself, “What am I actually feeling today?”
Write it down if you can, even if it’s a few messy sentences. When your body knows it will have a safe space to release emotions regularly, it does not need to explode unexpectedly.
2. Increase your emotional vocabulary.
You might be wondering how to stop crying when sad. But sadness isn’t the only reason we cry.
Sometimes we cry because we are overwhelmed. When everything feels like one big blur, your system goes into overload. That’s why it’s important to start practicing labeling your feelings more specifically. You may not just be sad.
Ask yourself, “Am I disappointed? Embarrassed? Rejected? Overstimulated? Lonely? Unseen?”
The more precisely you name an emotion, the less power it has. Naming activates the logical part of your brain, which reduces emotional intensity. Also, clarity also tends to calm your nervous system.
3. Strengthen your nervous system daily.
Your nervous system determines how easily you get overwhelmed. If it is already stressed from lack of sleep, overstimulation, constant social pressure, or caffeine overload, you will cry more easily.
If you want to know how to stop anxiety crying, try to prioritize consistent sleep or even take short daily walks. As much as possible, reduce excessive screen time and have moments of silence where you practice deep breathing, even when you are not upset.
Think of it like building emotional stamina. The stronger your baseline, the less likely you are to tip into tears from small triggers.
4. Address the root stressors honestly.
If you are crying often, ask yourself, “What am I tolerating that is draining me?” It could be a relationship dynamic, burnout, feeling unheard, overcommitting, people pleasing, constant comparison, etc.
Crying is often a signal and not necessarily the problem. If you only focus on stopping the tears but ignore the cause, your body will keep sounding the alarm. You should know that, sometimes, fewer tears come from better boundaries.
5. Practice expressing small emotions out loud.
If you only speak when things become unbearable, your emotions will pile up. Start practicing saying smaller truths earlier.
For example, “I felt hurt when that happened.” Or “I am a bit overwhelmed today.” Or “I need a break.”
When you express emotions in small doses, they do not build into overwhelming waves that burst out as tears.
6. Reduce shame around crying.
The more ashamed you feel about crying, the more anxious you become when you feel it starting. That anxiety then intensifies the crying.
Instead of saying “Why am I like this?” try telling yourself, “My body is reacting to something.”
Paradoxically, when you remove the shame, the emotional spikes tend to soften.
7. Consider deeper support if it feels excessive.
If you find yourself crying frequently without clear triggers, or feeling hopeless, or even emotionally numb between crying spells, or perhaps exhausted all the time, it may be more than just sensitivity.
Things like anxiety, chronic stress, or depression can lower your emotional threshold. Talking to a therapist or counselor is the best move if everything feels too much. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It’s a form of advanced emotional maintenance you’ll be happy about in the long run.
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Final Thoughts
Don’t feel bad about crying. It’s your body’s way of regulating your emotions. Basically, it’s your body doing what’s best in the moment. What you need to do now is to look into the underlying issues and give your body (and mind) the best treatment ever. Was this article insightful? Share it with someone today.
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